Sharing

Why We Share

You will be asked to share quite frequently in this program. What needs to be shared is less about your thoughts but more about your heart. We don't share the heart to trauma dump or vent about how horrible things are, or how excited you feel about things (you could, but it is not the primary reason).

It is critically important that you share the heart as is, without trying to look good to others. Sometimes you'll be able to catch yourself doing this, but I understand that many other times the tendency to do this is unconscious. The more honest you are in sharing, the more it will benefit you.

Sharing Is Not Performing

When I ask "how are you feeling?", most people give me thoughts. Plans. Analysis.

• "I'm thinking about my schedule." That is a thought.
• "I feel overwhelmed by my schedule." Closer.
• "There's a tightness in my chest and I want to run away." That is a feeling.

Throughout the next four weeks, you'll periodically get an email from me to share how you are feeling. Please reply back to that email with your feelings observations.

Sharing in Launch Pad is mandatory. Not because I am authoritarian, but because this is the skill you need most and practice least.

The Unconscious Strings

When I was teaching the concept of sharing in a group call, I asked a participant to share their experience of fear.

They talked about ghosts. "Oh, fear? I find that I'm generally afraid of ghosts". She stopped after two sentences. I asked her to tell me more. She said a few more sentences then stopped again. I pushed further. She got visibly uncomfortable.

Why does she keep stopping?

• "She didn't want to say something stupid." One string.
• "She didn't want to take up too much of our time." Another string.
• "She felt like she had to respond to an expectation." Another.

None of these were conscious decisions. They were automatic, unconscious patterns dictating behavior.

The Tofu Example

Let me show you how heart-based writing works with a real example. I have a writing called "Tofu." I started out by writing the main sentence: "I love tofu, or dubu in Korean." There, I pushed my heart open and shared something about me. I added some sentences about how I used to eat tofu even when I had the option of eating meat and how vegetarian diets are relatively easy for me thanks to tofu.

Now, what is something I can share about me related to tofu, along with the fact that I love it? Well, what's it like to eat tofu for me? I don't really go all in on tofu and try to fill my stomach with tofu; it has a nice warm filling quality already... Oh, that reminds me, I used to eat a LOT. So I'll share my story about how I got sick by eating six bowls of yookgaejang. That's the second push of the heart opening.

That reminds me, yookgaejang is something I ate back when I was working at Apple with my international coworkers and while it's not that relevant to the grand theme, who cares? I'm going to share how my Spanish coworker was aghast at the sight of yookgaejang because it was hellish red. There it is, the third push of the heart opening.

Validation and Approval

In our business life and personal life, there will be many things you'll overcome. But if there were a "last front", it would be validation and approval.

Most of us have tight grips on two things: The self (I need to protect myself, I need to be right) and the value system (right/wrong, good/bad).

Validation is a combination of these two attachments: I need you to tell me that I am doing good.

This is the hardest shift. It will not happen overnight. But every time you write, every time you share, you are building the muscle.

Mantra Sharing

Every day you will start your day with the mantra sharing. You will take a look at the mantra, and give it three reads. You will notice the feelings that come up when you say the mantra, and you will share them.

Observe yourself every day, then at the end of the week look back and reflect on how your heart has changed over the week with the same mantra.

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